Waiting for private school admission decisions can be an emotionally taxing experience for parents and children alike. Many parents look back on this period and realize there were things they could have done differently to make the process smoother and less stressful. Here are some of the most common lessons learned from parents who have been through it before.
1. Focused on What They Could Control
One of the biggest regrets parents express is spending too much time worrying about factors beyond their control. Instead, they wished they had focused on productive activities, such as continuing to support their child’s learning, learning more about the schools they applied to, researching alternative school options, and preparing for any possible outcomes. "Talking to parents whose children are currently enrolled at the schools we applied to was valuable. We learned new information and got a deeper perspective into the school culture that we didn't get during admission events."
2. Managed Their Child’s Expectations Better
Some parents admit that they either overhyped the likelihood of acceptance or avoided discussing the possibility of rejection."We reminded our son how hard he worked. And talked very honestly too about how yes, it is super competitive, and sometimes it doesn't seem to make sense who gets in where, or not. That it is a big puzzle schools put together. That helped him to not feel like it was all about him being good enough or not." "We stayed super positive, always reassuring him no matter what the outcome it would all work out in his best interest. We really kind of followed his lead. And if he didn't bring it up, we typically did not either. We did not want it to be the focus while we waited." A balanced approach—emphasizing that rejection does not define their child's worth while celebrating the effort put into applications—helps children handle the outcome with confidence.
3. Engaged in More Self-Care
Many parents realize in hindsight that they neglected their own well-being during the waiting period. “I felt I was too stressed to add anything to my schedule, but I wish I had put my focus on something other than the admission process.” Practicing self-care—whether through exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones—would have made the experience more manageable and less consuming.
4. Connected With Other Parents (and students) in the Same Situation
Some parents found comfort in speaking with others going through the same process. Whether through online forums, school networks, or casual conversations, sharing experiences can provide reassurance and practical advice. “I avoided all the conversations in the school parking lot, but I think I would have felt more support if I had connected with the other parents instead of isolating myself.” "And a nice thing that happened the day decisions were sent out, a group of his friends & moms went out for ice cream together. The kids were of course anxious, emotional, etc. But it was this beautiful circle of support, shared experience, laughter, even some tears. LOTs of support, bolstering each other up, very sweet the way they leaned on each other, encouraged and reassured each other, no matter what the outcomes, they would all be ok!"
5. Prepared for All Possible Outcomes
Instead of assuming their child would be accepted, experienced parents recommend having a solid Plan B (and even Plan C). Although it is important to know which school/s you like best, it is also valuable to keep an open mind. Of course it is tempting to focus on only one outcome, but it is important to realize that there could be a variety of outcomes on decision day.
6. Enjoyed the Present Instead of Worrying About the Future
Looking back, many parents wish they had spent more time enjoying the present moment with their child rather than fixating on an uncertain future. Making happy memories together can reduce anxiety and remind families that the outcome of admissions does not define their child's success. "We planned fun activities, kept busy and did NOT ruminate on the possible outcome. Normalcy I think during that time was so important so that our child did not go crazy."
Final Thoughts on waiting for private school decisions.
The admission process is undoubtedly a significant milestone, but it doesn’t have to be a stressful ordeal. By learning from those who have gone through it before, parents can navigate this waiting period with greater ease and a healthier mindset. The key is to focus on what truly matters—supporting your child, maintaining perspective, and embracing the journey as a whole. For more information about what you can do while you are waiting for admission decisions, contact Lisa Marfisi.
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